Birdsong with Caiyuda

Existential Crisis: A Necessary Collapse (It's not what you think)

If you're going through a season of darkness, or a loss of meaning, purpose, identity, direction, fulfilment --or even any kind of intense discombobulation-- I've got you.
I'm reporting from the thick of a existential crisis, as grounded and centred as possible; to rechart a map of the territory to know that there is a way through, and to hopefully provide something useful for those standing at a similar threshold.
We’ll explore the hallmarks of an existential crisis, the collapse of the old, the initiatory descent, some insight into my private struggles, confronting the wounds in the underworld, the early beginnings of reorientation and re-emergence, and how to navigate it all with as much awareness, honesty and care as possible.
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CONNECT WITH CAIYUDA
If you're curious about our 2026 initiatory thresholds, please send us an email introducing yourself and we'll open the thread about getting you more information.
🔹More details on Vision Quest: https://www.caiyudakiora.com/vision-quest
🔹Join the Newsletter and get your free eBook:https://www.caiyudakiora.com/newsletter
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The Power (& Poetics) of Vision: Becoming the Antenna & Cultivating Atmosphere

This is the opening chapter of a new program that I've been sitting on for a while now, which I call: Anchoring The Vision... which is a step by step guide of how to ground your vision into tangible reality. 
A lot of people have peak experiences and catch a glimpse of future timelines; of what could be (the greater vision), but have extreme difficulty in staying committed AND in knowing how to ground this vision into the physical world.
If you want to learn how to do so with time-tested systems, frameworks, structure and more, drawing from ancient wisdom and modern mindset, consider this your program to learn exactly how to do it.
If you want access to the entire first Module for free, punch your email into the link below and I'll send it out as soon as it's released.
⏩ https://www.caiyudakiora.com/vision
See you in there.
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CONNECT WITH CAIYUDA
🔸Enrol in the Visionary Medicines Program: https://www.caiyudakiora.com/visionary-medicines
🔸Join the Newsletter & Access the Free 21 Page eBook: https://www.caiyudakiora.com/newsletter
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AFFILIATE LINKS:Get 10% off some of the best Medicinal Mushroom, Tonic Herb & Adaptogenic Blends at Superfeast:https://www.superfeast.com.au (Use code CAIYUDA10 at checkout)---Get 10% off your Certified Organic 100% Grass Fed & Finished Beef Organ supplements at Cell Squared:https://www.cellsquared.com.au/?aff=140 (Use code CAIYUDA10 at checkout)---Get 10% off Blu Blockers and Red Light Therapies at BaxterBlue:https://www.baxterblue.com.au/?ref=CAIYUDA10 (Use code CAIYUDA10 at checkout)

Too Many Cowboys in the Sacred Medicine Space? (Exploring the Archetype from Shadow to Light)

It's a cliché critique: that there's too many cowboys in the medicine space.And sure, the immature uninitiated cowboy has a lot of shadow. But what if that's not the full picture though?Because as we know, all archetypes have their dark and light qualities. And that's exactly what I explore with you here in this four chapter episode:🔹The Cowboy Critique: Deconstructing the Archetype🔹The Unintegrated Cowboy & Personal Reflections🔹The Wild Bridgewalker: The Evolved Initiated Cowboy🔹At the Edge of Collapse, a Bridge AppearsI'll guide you through the shadow / dark qualities of the cowboy in question, followed by an intimate look at my own personal experiences of this archetype, what the mature initiated evolution of this mythic archetype might look like, and bridging the gap between old and new, tradition and innovation, and the many threads inbetween. See you in there.
---CONNECT WITH CAIYUDA🔸Enrol in the Visionary Medicines Program: https://www.caiyudakiora.com/visionary-medicines🔸Join the Newsletter & Access the Free 21 Page eBook: https://www.caiyudakiora.com/newsletter🔸The Pilgrimage: Shamanic Wilderness Expeditions:https://www.caiyudakiora.com/pilgrimage🔹Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/caiyudakiora🔹TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@caiyudakiora🔹YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@caiyuda🔹Twitter: https://x.com/caiyudakiora🔹Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/30AGOxSHAtdxs8xnCw1STa?si=fad30c997d474a07---AFFILIATE LINKS:Get 10% off some of the best Medicinal Mushroom, Tonic Herb & Adaptogenic Blends at Superfeast:https://www.superfeast.com.au (Use code CAIYUDA10 at checkout)---Get 10% off your Certified Organic 100% Grass Fed & Finished Beef Organ supplements at Cell Squared:https://www.cellsquared.com.au/?aff=140 (Use code CAIYUDA10 at checkout)---Get 10% off Blu Blockers and Red Light Therapies at BaxterBlue:https://www.baxterblue.com.au/?ref=CAIYUDA10 (Use code CAIYUDA10 at checkout)

Old Norse Wisdom Traditions: Rediscovering Northern European Spirituality & Shamanism w/ Imelda Almqvist

Imelda Almqvist is an international teacher of Sacred Art and Seiðr/Old Norse Traditions (the ancestral wisdom teachings of Northern Europe). ⁠She has her own Forest School in Sweden, in a remote place where the Forest Meets the Sea and where wolves (sometimes) howl at night.
Imelda appears in a TV program, titled Ice Age Shaman, made for the Smithsonian Museum, in the series Mystic Britain, talking about Mesolithic arctic deer shamanism. She has also presented her work on Sounds True and The Shift Network.
 Her five non-fiction books include:
🔹Natural Born Shamans: A Spiritual Toolkit for Life (2016)🔹Sacred Art: A Hollow Bone for Spirit (2019)🔹Medicine of the Imagination: Dwelling in Possibility (2020)🔹North Sea Water In My Veins: The Pre-Christian spirituality of the Low Countries (2022)🔹Portals, Patterns and Pathways - A Handbook for Rune Magicians (May 2026)
The Green Bear is her series of picture books for children, aged 3 – 8 years. The Scandinavian stories and vibrant artwork invite children to explore enchanting parallel worlds and to keep their sense of magic alive as they grow up.
She is currently working on a book about Inuit deities and mythology.
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TOPICS WE COVER IN THIS EPISODE:
🔹Writing as a Spiritual Practice
🔹Dream journaling since teenage years
🔹Writing as spirit-led, not a conscious decision
🔹Imelda's forest school as a place for spiritual and shamanic development
🔹Sitting on grave mounds as an ancestral practice
🔹Imelda's painting sabbatical in Greenland under the northern lights
🔹Ceremonial work in Greenland honoring local deities like Sedna and Sila
🔹Reconnecting with neglected deities and ancestral spirits
🔹How imagination serves as an interface for spiritual connection
🔹The importance of discernment between real connection vs projected fantasy
🔹Imelda's time connecting with the Arctic people, including the Sami
🔹The complex dynamics of ancient tradition vs modern lifestyle
🔹The impact of historical trauma on indigenous cultures
🔹Imelda's initiation into elderhood
🔹Embracing the Hag archetype as Baba Yaga's daughter
🔹And much more...
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CONNECT WITH CAIYUDA
🔸Enrol in the Visionary Medicines Program: https://www.caiyudakiora.com/visionary-medicines🔸Join the Newsletter & Access the Free 21 Page eBook: https://www.caiyudakiora.com/newsletter
🔸YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@caiyuda🔸Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/caiyudakiora🔸TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@caiyudakiora🔸Twitter: https://x.com/caiyudakiora🔸Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/30AGOxSHAtdxs8xnCw1STa?si=fad30c997d474a07
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CONNECT WITH IMELDA:
🔸Website: https://www.shaman-healer-painter.co.uk🔸Substack: https://imeldaalmqvist.substack.com🔸YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@imeldaalmqvistTHEPREGNANTHAG🔸Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/almqvistimelda🔸Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/imelda.almqvist
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AFFILIATE LINKS:Get 10% off some of the best Medicinal Mushroom, Tonic Herb & Adaptogenic Blends at Superfeast:https://www.superfeast.com.au (Use code CAIYUDA10 at checkout)---Get 10% off your Certified Organic 100% Grass Fed & Finished Beef Organ supplements at Cell Squared:https://www.cellsquared.com.au/?aff=140 (Use code CAIYUDA10 at checkout)---Get 10% off Blu Blockers and Red Light Therapies at BaxterBlue:https://www.baxterblue.com.au/?ref=CAIYUDA10 (Use code CAIYUDA10 at checkout)

Sacred Tobacco & Tree Diets: Allies on the Shamanic Medicine Path (Oak, Birch, Sequoia) w/ Jordan Mockingbird

Jordan is a devoted practitioner of the shamanic healing arts and a teacher dedicated to the medicine path. His initiations first came through a decade of gnostic studies in Asia. After confronting severe illness, Jordan shed a career as a producer to walk the road of personal transformation, finding his medicine in shamanic study of plants. trees, breath and fasting. The “plant dieting” practices of the Amazon have radically transformed Jordan’s life, vision, health and purpose and come to him primarily through Cocama elder, William Llerena Murayari. After 7 years of mentorship under Apache elder, Iron Eagle Joe, Jordan received the name Mockingbird and was given the blessing to teach through ceremony. He carries a facilitator certification from Embodied Masculine granted under the supervision of Amir Khalighi.---TOPICS WE COVER IN THIS EPISODE:🔹Tobaccos dual nature of teacher and healer vs addiction and poison🔹Romanticizing traditional practices 🔹Do indigenous folk have unhealthy relationships with tobacco?🔹Unsafe ceremonial practices involving tobacco🔹Shadow dynamics within tobacco / ceremonial practice🔹Tobaccos evolutionary intelligence across species🔹How humans aren't they only ones with nicotine receptors🔹Different preparations and routes of administration🔹Right relationship and reciprocity🔹The bioelectric mechanics of tobacco purging🔹Jordan's initiatory threshold crossings with tobacco🔹Contextualizing Tree Diets🔹The archetypal qualities of Oak / Birch / Sequioa🔹The mechanisms of healing and teaching from the trees🔹Safety profile of the trees🔹Psychological / spiritual risks of dieting trees🔹The nature of initiation and reflections on initiatory pathways🔹And a stack more...--- CONNECT WITH CAIYUDA🔸Enrol in the Visionary Medicines Program: https://www.caiyudakiora.com/visionary-medicines🔸Join the Newsletter & Access the Free 21 Page eBook: https://www.caiyudakiora.com/newsletter🔸YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@caiyuda🔸Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/caiyudakiora🔸TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@caiyudakiora🔸Twitter: https://x.com/caiyudakiora🔸Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/30AGOxSHAtdxs8xnCw1STa?si=fad30c997d474a07---CONNECT WITH JORDAN:🔸Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mknbrd🔸Sacred Tree Keepers Website: https://sacredtreekeepers.com🔸Tree Diets Website: https://www.treediets.com---AFFILIATE LINKS:Get 10% off some of the best Medicinal Mushroom, Tonic Herb & Adaptogenic Blends at Superfeast:https://www.superfeast.com.au (Use code CAIYUDA10 at checkout)---Get 10% off your Certified Organic 100% Grass Fed & Finished Beef Organ supplements at Cell Squared:https://www.cellsquared.com.au/?aff=140 (Use code CAIYUDA10 at checkout)---Get 10% off Blu Blockers and Red Light Therapies at BaxterBlue:https://www.baxterblue.com.au/?ref=CAIYUDA10 (Use code CAIYUDA10 at checkout)

5-MeO-DMT: The Nature of Healing, Initiation, Soul & Psyche w/ Otto Maier

Otto Maier is a retreat leader with Tandava Retreats and the Head of Integration at FIVE. 
Through his private practice, _Soul & Psyche_, he supports individuals in navigating both ecstatic and traumatic states of consciousness by blending Depth Psychology, Internal Family Systems (IFS), Somatic work, Non-Pathologizing frameworks, and the ongoing decolonization of the modern psyche.
Otto’s integrative approach to healing and psychedelic work has been translated into educational programs for fellow therapists and guides, adapted into training curricula across the psychedelic field, and is currently being applied in research on 5-MeO-DMT. 
⁠His work centers on honoring the full range of human experience—not as something to fix, but something to be in a deep and reverent relationship with.
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Enrol in the Visionary Medicines Program: https://www.caiyudakiora.com/visionary-medicinesJoin the Newsletter & Access the Free 21 Page eBook: https://www.caiyudakiora.com/newsletter
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TOPICS WE COVER IN THIS EPISODE:
🔸Understanding 5-MeO-DMT Misconceptions🔸The Nature of 5-MeO-DMT🔸The Spirit of the Medicine🔸Natural vs. Synthetic 5-MeO-DMT🔸The Unique Experience of 5-MeO-DMT🔸Collective Intentions when approaching 5-MeO🔸Reflections on the Standardization of Dosage🔸Does the medicine really give you what you need?🔸Tandava and 5-MeO Education🔸How is FIVE bridging Gaps in Psychedelic Education?🔸FIVE's Facilitator Training Programs and Developing Competence🔸The importance of Comprehensive Screening Protocols🔸The Role of Trauma in Healing🔸Understanding Wounds in the context of Initiation🔸Integrating 5-MeO DMT Experiences🔸Post 5-MeO reactivations (positive and negative)🔸Somatic Embodiment Practices for Integration
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CONNECT WITH CAIYUDA🔹YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@caiyuda🔹Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/caiyudakiora🔹TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@caiyudakiora🔹Twitter: https://x.com/caiyudakiora🔹Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/30AGOxSHAtdxs8xnCw1STa?si=fad30c997d474a07
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CONNECT WITH OTTO:🔹Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/soul_npsyche🔹Website: https://www.soulpsyche.org/🔹Tandava: https://www.tandavaretreats.com/🔹FIVE: https://five-meo.education/
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AFFILIATE LINKS:Get 10% off some of the best Medicinal Mushroom, Tonic Herb & Adaptogenic Blends at Superfeast:https://www.superfeast.com.au (Use code CAIYUDA10 at checkout)---Get 10% off your Certified Organic 100% Grass Fed & Finished Beef Organ supplements at Cell Squared:https://www.cellsquared.com.au/?aff=140 (Use code CAIYUDA10 at checkout)---Get 10% off Blu Blockers and Red Light Therapies at BaxterBlue:https://www.baxterblue.com.au/?ref=CAIYUDA10 (Use code CAIYUDA10 at checkout)

The Somatic Cathedral: Your Body as a Compass to Truth & Higher Wisdom w/ Joey Remenyi

Joey Remenyi is vestibular audiologist, neuroplasticity educator, author and creator of the Rock Steady and Sensing Ground Programs.
She supports people living with high sensitivity and unusual persistent body sensations to find the wisdom of their body and to follow their own inner intelligence.
Joey believes that each person is their own expert and she teaches sovereignty, self-authority and somatic-spiritual philosophy. 
In her recent TEDx, she talks about the invisible forces that shape us and the body as our compass. Joey asks the question: What if body sensations are our portal into higher wisdom?
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🔸Enrol in the Visionary Medicines Program: https://www.caiyudakiora.com/visionary-medicines
🔸Join the Newsletter & Access the Free 21 Page eBook: https://www.caiyudakiora.com/newsletter
🔸Vision Quest: https://www.caiyudakiora.com/vision-quest
🔸The Pilgrimage: https://www.caiyudakiora.com/pilgrimage
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TOPICS WE COVER IN THIS EPISODE:
🔹The body as a compass🔹Disconnection from the body and the bravery to feel🔹The cost of numbing🔹Self trust and inner authority🔹Warm data vs Cold data🔹The 8 senses🔹Externalized authority🔹Sensory Hierarchies and Biases🔹The difference between feeling and analysing bodily signals🔹Shadows as a teacher🔹Shadows and disintegration 🔹Being a mirror for others🔹Shadows and friction in leadership spaces🔹Authentic leadership🔹Reclaiming personal power🔹Navigating extreme inner experiences🔹Pathologizing sensitivities🔹Trusting the darkness and discomfort as threshold🔹And a stack more...
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CONNECT WITH CAIYUDA🔸YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@caiyuda
🔸Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/caiyudakiora
🔸TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@caiyudakiora
🔸Twitter: https://x.com/caiyudakiora
🔸Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/30AGOxSHAtdxs8xnCw1STa?si=fad30c997d474a07
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CONNECT WITH JOEY:🔸Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/joeyseekingbalance/
🔸Website: https://www.seekingbalance.com.au/
🔸YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@SensingGround
🔸TedX Talk: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KUYRPZ-mQJM&t=607s
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AFFILIATE LINKS:Get 10% off some of the best Medicinal Mushroom, Tonic Herb & Adaptogenic Blends at Superfeast:https://www.superfeast.com.au (Use code CAIYUDA10 at checkout)---Get 10% off your Certified Organic 100% Grass Fed & Finished Beef Organ supplements at Cell Squared:https://www.cellsquared.com.au/?aff=140 (Use code CAIYUDA10 at checkout)---Get 10% off Blu Blockers and Red Light Therapies at BaxterBlue:https://www.baxterblue.com.au/?ref=CAIYUDA10 (Use code CAIYUDA10 at checkout)

Rethinking Psychedelic Culture: Beyond Bad Trips & Expanding the Mind

The term psychedelic, meaning “mind manifesting,” is often framed through the lens of cognitive experience - the brain-mind. But what if “mind” includes not just the brain, but the heart, the gut, the body, and beyond?
The recreational scene has a fixation on the visuals, the novelty, the highs, the fun - and while I'm not necessarily against recreational use, I think this part of the psychedelic culture could use some deeper contextualization to begin inhabiting a more full expression of what these experiences can truly offer.
We explore that, and more, in this weeks episode.
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Enrol in the Visionary Medicines Program: https://www.caiyudakiora.com/visionary-medicines
Join the Newsletter & Access the Free 21 Page eBook: https://www.caiyudakiora.com/newsletter
Vision Quest - Vic, Aus 2025: https://www.caiyudakiora.com/vision-quest
 
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CONNECT WITH CAIYUDAYouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@caiyudaInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/caiyudakioraTikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@caiyudakioraTwitter: https://x.com/caiyudakioraSpotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/30AGOxSHAtdxs8xnCw1STa?si=fad30c997d474a07
 
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AFFILIATE LINKS:Get 10% off some of the best Medicinal Mushroom, Tonic Herb & Adaptogenic Blends at Superfeast:https://www.superfeast.com.au (Use code CAIYUDA10 at checkout)---Get 10% off your Certified Organic 100% Grass Fed & Finished Beef Organ supplements at Cell Squared:https://www.cellsquared.com.au/?aff=140 (Use code CAIYUDA10 at checkout)---Get 10% off Blu Blockers and Red Light Therapies at BaxterBlue:https://www.baxterblue.com.au/?ref=CAIYUDA10 (Use code CAIYUDA10 at checkout)

Money, Sacred Ceremony & The Predator Path: A Modern Inquiry

Are you involved in sacred ceremony, plant medicine, psychedelics, and the exchange of money for these offerings?
 
If so, tune into this episode where Caiyuda expands upon the recent social media drama, teasing apart some nuance and providing perspective on the converging themes of financial exchange, ceremony, transaction, reciprocity, culture, integrity, predatory behaviour and more.
 
Enrol in the Visionary Medicines Program: https://www.caiyudakiora.com/visionary-medicines
Join the Newsletter & Access the Free 21 Page eBook: https://www.caiyudakiora.com/newsletter
 
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Money, Ceremony & The Predator Path: A Modern Inquiry
 
Section I: Money & The Sacred (Why is this Conversation so Charged?)
Section II: Transaction, Reciprocity & The Stories We Inhabit
Section III: Expanding the Context (Destruction, Privilege & Listening through Times of Change)
Section IV: Pricing as a Portal, Payment as an Invitation
Section V: Visibility, Vocation & Sacred Relating
 
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CONNECT WITH CAIYUDAYouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@caiyudaInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/caiyudakioraTikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@caiyudakioraTwitter: https://x.com/caiyudakioraSpotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/30AGOxSHAtdxs8xnCw1STa?si=fad30c997d474a07
 
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AFFILIATE LINKS:Get 10% off some of the best Medicinal Mushroom, Tonic Herb & Adaptogenic Blends at Superfeast:https://www.superfeast.com.au (Use code CAIYUDA10 at checkout)---Get 10% off your Certified Organic 100% Grass Fed & Finished Beef Organ supplements at Cell Squared:https://www.cellsquared.com.au/?aff=140 (Use code CAIYUDA10 at checkout)---Get 10% off Blu Blockers and Red Light Therapies at BaxterBlue:https://www.baxterblue.com.au/?ref=CAIYUDA10 (Use code CAIYUDA10 at checkout)

The Art & Spirituality of Intentional Tattoo: Searching for Identity, Belonging & Meaning w/ Mark Nara

Mark Nara is the founder of Tattoo Pathway: an educational resource created to guide both clients and tattoo professionals toward a deeper, more meaningful approach to tattooing—one rooted in growth, intention, and sacred practice. 
Mark has been walking this path for roughly two decades, starting with an old-school apprenticeship before transitioning into more of a spiritual apprenticeship with a traditional holy man, which opened a new chapter of integrating tattooing with spiritual reality. 
Enrol in the Visionary Medicines Program: https://www.caiyudakiora.com/visionary-medicinesJoin the Newsletter & Access the Free 21 Page eBook: https://www.caiyudakiora.com/newsletter
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TOPICS WE COVER IN THIS EPISODE:
🔹Tattoos as a pathway to explore identity and belonging🔹The evolution of tattoo culture reflecting broader societal changes🔹Tattoo as a communal practice, not just an individual one🔹The role of tattoo artists VS tattoo guides🔹The contemporary tattoo scene is still in its infancy, lacking depth and structure🔹Understanding the 'why' behind a tattoo is crucial🔹Tattoo as a rite of passage🔹Marks journey of spiritual initiation and apprenticeship🔹The role of sweat lodge, vision quest and psychedelics on Mark's journey🔹Mark's throat tattoo: the cicada🔹Caiyuda's first tattoo experience🔹The skin as an interface between internal and external identities🔹Revisiting tattoos can reveal layers of self that need to be addressed🔹Tattoo placement and their energetic implications🔹Understanding the coherence of tattoos can enhance one's sense of belonging🔹Caiyuda's journey of laser tattoo removal🔹Post tattoo identity disorder (PTID)🔹All tattoos, even regrettable ones, hold intrinsic value🔹Community connection is vital in the tattoo journey🔹Cultural and historical contexts can enrich our understanding of tattooing🔹Self-responsibility as a foundational aspect of tattoo work
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CONNECT WITH CAIYUDAYouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@caiyudaInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/caiyudakioraTikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@caiyudakioraTwitter: https://x.com/caiyudakioraSpotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/30AGOxSHAtdxs8xnCw1STa?si=fad30c997d474a07
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CONNECT WITH MARK:Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/themarkofnara/Website: https://themarkofnara.com/Tattoo Pathway: https://tattoopathway.com/YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@TattooPathway
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AFFILIATE LINKS:Get 10% off some of the best Medicinal Mushroom, Tonic Herb & Adaptogenic Blends at Superfeast:https://www.superfeast.com.au (Use code CAIYUDA10 at checkout)---Get 10% off your Certified Organic 100% Grass Fed & Finished Beef Organ supplements at Cell Squared:https://www.cellsquared.com.au/?aff=140 (Use code CAIYUDA10 at checkout)---Get 10% off Blu Blockers and Red Light Therapies at BaxterBlue:https://www.baxterblue.com.au/?ref=CAIYUDA10 (Use code CAIYUDA10 at checkout)